Big Papa Auz

My Little Man...

2008-07-03T10:47:00.004-05:00

Tucker is growing like a weed. He is 7 weeks old and already wearing 3 month old outfits.

He has a strong neck and his legs are powerful. He can stand on my chest for several minutes now, with my hands only steadying him, not supporting him in any way.

This last week he figured out how to get his hand to his mouth when he wants it, so he is starting to figure out his arms too. And he is smiling now.

It is so amazing to watch him grow and explore and just study his environment.

I have a number of my better pictures hung in our living room as art, and he studies those and studies some more. In particular, he seems obsessed with portraits of Shannon and Kandy. Can't get enough of looking at those girls. Yeah, that thing where your parents laugh and say I hope you have a child just like you... Oh boy!

We are looking forward to the long 4th weekend. This was the first week with Mel and I both back at work and Tuck staying with his sitter. So its been hard on Mel and I. We are really looking forward to spending a few days with our boy again.

Hope all is well.

-BPA

Everything changes...

2008-06-15T00:12:00.002-05:00

They tell you that your kids will change everything.

Then one day you are standing at the sink, just finishing washing up the bottles. And the thought occurs to you that you just washed 9 bottles, 9 rings, and 9 nipples.

You just washed 9 nipples and you don't even giggle at the thought.

Kids change everything.

-BPA

Untold Essentials: MP3 Player

2008-06-08T20:30:00.002-05:00

So for as long as I can remember, I've been sensitive to sound.

Case in point: the Wizard of Oz. I can't tell you how many times I saw that movie while I was growing up. But I stress the word "saw." I didn't actually hear the movie until somewhere in my teenage years. I hated the witch, specifically her voice. As a small child I just couldn't stand her laugh.

So, from the first time watching the movie, and the first time hearing that wicked cackle, until the age where I was simply too embarrassed to do so any longer, I watched the movie with my hands firmly clamped over my ears. When my cousins would duck under the covers to hide from the flying monkeys, I would stoically sit, soaking in the vivid Technicolor of it all. You see, I was safe. I couldn't hear them.

And the trend continues well into my new life as the father of a screamer. Oh, mostly my son as a calm, curious baby who fusses only for good reasons such as gas, dropped pacifiers, wet diapers, poop-filled diapers, hunger, frustrations, occasional boredom, or being awake.

The problem is he can go from happy as a feather floating on the wind to 7-alarm, habanero chewin', "holy crap what are they doing to my penis" in less than a second. And once he hits that level, it takes a while to cool down. The diaper goes poopy, no problem, daddy can have that thing off and his hiney clean in 30 seconds. But the screaming may not stop for four or five more minutes...on a good day.

I can handle the screaming to get my attention. But once the problem has been solved...

Please understand, we aren't talking about logic here. Trust me, I know it is not logical when I find myself reasoning with a 3-week old infant that crying once daddy has arrived is about as useful as eating clam chowder with a fork. But that doesn't help me deal with the screaming.

A mp3 player does. I say mp3 player rather than iPod for a reason, I'm too cheap to buy a good one (though I may have found one a friend is no longer using). And so I have the cheapest player I could find loaded up with music that allows me to deal.

Five Blind Boys of Alabama, Enya (go on and make fun, it works), and most importantly, the soundtrack to Waking Ned Devine. Nothing like Irish fiddle to transform a dark, swirling vortex of your child's screaming agony into nothing more than the tiniest of ripples on a misty Oklahoma pond at sunrise.

So take my word, father's-to-be, register for a diaper genie. Register for booties and onsies and blankets and boppies. But whatever you do, don't forget to register for the iPod. It may well save your child from being throw through a window some day.

-BPA

The more things change...

2008-05-31T21:30:00.005-05:00

Any OSU alumnus will attest to a few certain truths that only we fully understand. Not the east of these is the awesome utility of the "Joe's cup."

These noble, 16 ounce, plastic vessels begin life transporting beer, cola or iced tea to the parched lips of young Cowboys. But much like their utilitarian cousins, duct tape and baling wire, they find the journey has only begun. Most Joe's cup find work as tupperware, pen holders, Christmas tree decorations, and so much more.

My personal collection peaked at around 75 cups several years ago. Even today, having pared things down to accomidate shelf space for my wife, I retain an active rotation of 24 cups. These qualify as "company quality" in our home.

And still I am amazed. I thought I had found every reasonable use for a Joe's cup, short of inter-planetary travel...

And then Tucker taught me a new one. A Joe's cup for a bottle warmer. BRILLIANT! All hail the Joe's cup.

And so it begins...

2008-05-31T21:19:00.002-05:00

My son was born 11 days ago. He is perfect and healthy in every way.

It took less than a day for one important revelation to hit me: This blog will NOT be about the things I learn in this journey. Instead, it WILL be about the things the boy teaches me. Those lessons have begun.

I will at some point have some thoughts to share on birth and the process and the horror/wonder of it all. But I'm not yet there. Not at all ready yet.

So for now...

BPA

Say hello to my son...

2008-01-24T16:10:00.000-06:00

Kids vs. Money

2007-12-11T11:32:00.000-06:00

Sorry I've been slow to post this week. There has been an incredible amount going on in the real world this past week. But the Papa is back now.

The big topic of the moment with us is money. To be frank, I'm looking forward to the kid, but starting to doubt the wisdom of child labor laws. These kiddos, I think they originated the term "hidden costs".

Well, here's an article from Get Rich Slowly that, while not everything will work for us, there are some useful ideas here: How to Start a Family Without Breaking the Bank.

BPA

Save Money at Amazon

2007-11-28T09:21:00.000-06:00

Fond a great tip at Single Income Parenting.

It seems you can search on Amazon by percentage off. So cut straight to the 90% off items and save some money. Shop online to save time. Stay home and save yourself some gas.

You can read the article, complete with links, here.

Auz

Geek Parenting

2007-11-26T19:58:00.000-06:00

So I have a new favorite web site: Geek Parenting

I know. I know. With such a cool site already operating at a level far superior to what I could possibly hope to do here, why bother? Well, this is about me, dang it. But its also to point you to such hipness as does exist out there.

For instant, there list of the "Top Ten Geeky Holiday Gifts for Your Oddball Child," including this sweet item from Perpetual Kid: Frogmen vs. Radioactive Octopus.

Sweet!

Check it out, you'll thank me.

Being the right kind of positive...

2007-11-26T14:45:00.000-06:00

One of the things I'd like to do with this blog is share resources and news and such with my friends and fellow parents/parents-to-be. And this article is a perfect example:

How Not To Talk To Your Kids

You might want to read the article itself before reading my rant about it... or rave... hard to say.

This one really strikes home for me. I was a smart kid. Aced all my tests. Did insanely well in the standardize tests. Got a 32 on my ACT for goodness sake. And I was always applauded for it. Of course I never had to work much at it. The way our government schools are set up is to bring everybody along even if that means holding the smart ones back, or at least not challenging them. Our teachers, bless their souls, worked so hard to get the less interested and less innately smart kids to where they needed to be, that those of us who got it the first time they taught it were left twiddling our thumbs waiting to take a test that proved far less than it should have. Heck, half the tests weren't about knowing the right answer so much is eliminating the wrong answers.

And so you sit around, not really doing much of anything. And they call you smart for it. And they give you awards and really thick dictionaries and eventually scholarships. And even more importantly, "smart" comes to be how you identify yourself and how you believe others perceive you and what they value in you. That's the sort of thing you'll spend a lot of time protecting.

So you start lying to yourself. It doesn't matter how much fun you had in math class, you decide that college math sounds intimidating, so you opt away from engineering and architecture and study to be a PR flack. And you maybe sign up for honors classes, but tell yourself it really doesn't matter in the real world anyhow, so you drop that program after you can only manage a B in the first honors class you take. And you had to work for that. But its not the work that matters, it showing off what your brain can already do.

And you eventually graduate, still skating by and convinced that you are smart and people respect you for your brains. But now you find a descent job and cling to it. Any challenge that comes your way, you avoid, at least the big ones. Changing jobs, moving away, starting fresh... Why look for career growth when you have a perfectly good job with no upward mobility? After all, you can't fail if you aren't allowed to try. And why look for a new more rewarding career? After all, most folks think you have a pretty good deal as it is.

And then you get stuck with a real challenge. You are gonna be a daddy and there is no way around that. And your wife is pretty smart and you are pretty smart and the kids probably gonna be a firecracker. But then some researcher says something that makes all the world of sense to you and you innately know that you'll have to watch yourself closely. It is fine to love your child and to be awestruck by their brilliance. It is likely to be dang near impossible to show them anything but how proud you are of their intelligence. But so much better to focus your comments of adoration and praise less on their gifts and more on their efforts. To show them a path and encourage behaviors that will continually propel them higher in their life and dreams...

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I'm a man, I'm 31. I can shape myself, my behavior and my options. The road I'm on is one I've opted to take, and I've been aware of my own character flaws for some time. I blame no one for these but myself. What I'm talking about here is shaping the next generation. I'm merely saying this research raises some interesting points to consider.

Whew, what a mouthful. And yes, the second the kiddo says "da-da" I'm gonna be convinced I have a new Einstein and there goes all this out the window... But I hope not. I really think there is something to this one. Its at least worth the read.

-BPA

So let's get this started...

2007-11-26T10:03:00.000-06:00

I've had a few months to adjust to the fact. I'm gonna be a "daddy." Now that's scary.
I've been a son my whole life and I'm still figuring that one out. Over the years I've been a brother, a friend, a buddy, a teammate, a classmate, a coworker, a lover, and now a husband. But there is no title so powerful and so Earthshaking as "daddy". Well, at least not for a man. So now I get to try on my fathering shoes and I'm excited as hell and scared silly all at once. But at least I have my own father's example to learn from. He's a good man and a good father.

So now I've begun the blog. A place to record my thoughts, express my freakouts and share what I learn. If nothing else, it oughta be amusing, right?

Enjoy,

Big Papa Auz